Morning Meltdown

Well, it was bound to happen. I was overdue.

I had a major meltdown this morning. The trigger was Elvis...he was unwilling to go with my schedule. I can't blame him now, but I was really angry earlier. Angry at the world. Angry at John.

He took over a half an hour in the backyard. Doing...nothing. And I was going to be late to church. It would have been okay to go late, but by the time he was done and kenneled, I was in no shape to go. So I changed from my Sunday best to my casual clothes, sat on my bed...and sobbed. For a long time.

After grabbing some breakfast, I let him out again, and of course, he had to "go" right away. And afterward, since it was raining (I had planned to do some work on the Saturn but not in the rain), I decided to take a nap. And took a long one with Elvis in my arms. This grieving business is exhausting.

The rain still hadn't stopped by the time I got around again, so guess what? I ended up doing nothing today, really, except walk Elvis, eat, watch television, and now...write.

And cry.

I just know tomorrow will be better. It has to be better...

In the meantime, this ache is real.