Memorial Day

Memorial Day is thought to be a day to honor those who perished in battle. But I always honor all Veterans and active service members and their family on this day. 

This year, it's on May 30, which was, until the early 1970s, Memorial Day, regardless of the day of the week. May 30 was and is a special day in my life; it was the birthday of my mother. It's highly appropriate that May 30 is Memorial Day today, as this is the 90th anniversary of her birth. Happy birthday, Mama! I miss you!

I consider her a veteran, as well, because she was a military wife. Married to my father, a 33 year veteran of the Army Air Corps, Air Force, Air Reserve, and Air National Guard. 

And the three veterans of my immediate family: Mom, Dad, and my beloved husband, John, fought battles that they ultimately lost. No, none of them had seen military battle in their service (I don't think; the jury's out whether Dad did; we'll never know as he did a lot of top secret stuff especially during the Korean War).

My mom battled diabetes and congestive heart failure for many years. My dad had Parkison's disease for many years--diagnosed in 1984, but we think he had it a lot longer. I'll add my brother into this, as he battled diabetes for several years and pancreatic cancer for a month. And finally, my wonderful husband, who bravely battled a brain tumor for 14 months. 

So I honor those people in my life that fought battles both on and off the field. I thank them for their lives. I am the person I am because of them. 

As the song says, "Because I knew them, I have been changed for Good."

This wife, daughter, granddaughter niece, cousin, friend, and yes, sister of veterans thanks them all. 

A possible cure for glioblastoma...and how I feel about it.

Hand in hand. The moment I started wearing his wedding band with mine.

Look at this young couple. Little did they know the journey they would have, they walked down the aisle hand in hand as husband and wife on that beautiful September saturday. And just two months after their 17th wedding anniversary, their lives changed.










On our 17th anniversary, we looked like this:

And on our 18th and final anniversary, celebrated at hospice:

I first heard about the experiments they were conducting on the east coast involving the polio virus about a year ago; they insert the virus (minus the dangerous part of the strain, instead substituted with a bit of cold virus) and it attacks the tumor (and awakens the immune system). One woman in the study was diagnosed around the same time John was. She is still with us. All of this was on a number of 60 Minutes episodes, with the most recent one airing tonight. 

John went through the typical treatments (called standard of care), plus one study. 

After graduation from radiation therapy, you get to keep the mask. I still have it.

Chopping.

Treadmill therapy

Coffee and treadmill mix.

Don't get me wrong; I'm overjoyed that they have something that not only might cure glioblastoma multiforme, but other cancers such as pancreatic cancer (which took my big brother from us in 1999).  But I'm angry...perhaps selfishly...that this breakthrough status didn't happen before the events of 2011 unfolded...or even before the events of 1999. 

But we held on to each other. Tight.

Through Christmas 2011, one month after diagnosis:

 And the early days of hospice...

Through his last birthday...

And through his last days...

Our last photo together. Taken approximately 3 days before his death.

He still lives in my heart.

I will continue to follow the studies, as I want this monster called cancer to disappear. Go away. Vamoose. Be gone. Kicked to the curb. DESTROYED.

So be aware, cancer: YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED. No more destroying families. 

And so, we go on. Little by little. Step by step. Moment by moment. Missing him all the time.

No one should ever have to go through this. 

For perspective on that 14 month journey...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prjcHQAPVgg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV5hm_d_ZW4&feature=share