Memorial Day

Memorial Day is thought to be a day to honor those who perished in battle. But I always honor all Veterans and active service members and their family on this day. 

This year, it's on May 30, which was, until the early 1970s, Memorial Day, regardless of the day of the week. May 30 was and is a special day in my life; it was the birthday of my mother. It's highly appropriate that May 30 is Memorial Day today, as this is the 90th anniversary of her birth. Happy birthday, Mama! I miss you!

I consider her a veteran, as well, because she was a military wife. Married to my father, a 33 year veteran of the Army Air Corps, Air Force, Air Reserve, and Air National Guard. 

And the three veterans of my immediate family: Mom, Dad, and my beloved husband, John, fought battles that they ultimately lost. No, none of them had seen military battle in their service (I don't think; the jury's out whether Dad did; we'll never know as he did a lot of top secret stuff especially during the Korean War).

My mom battled diabetes and congestive heart failure for many years. My dad had Parkison's disease for many years--diagnosed in 1984, but we think he had it a lot longer. I'll add my brother into this, as he battled diabetes for several years and pancreatic cancer for a month. And finally, my wonderful husband, who bravely battled a brain tumor for 14 months. 

So I honor those people in my life that fought battles both on and off the field. I thank them for their lives. I am the person I am because of them. 

As the song says, "Because I knew them, I have been changed for Good."

This wife, daughter, granddaughter niece, cousin, friend, and yes, sister of veterans thanks them all. 

A possible cure for glioblastoma...and how I feel about it.

Hand in hand. The moment I started wearing his wedding band with mine.

Look at this young couple. Little did they know the journey they would have, they walked down the aisle hand in hand as husband and wife on that beautiful September saturday. And just two months after their 17th wedding anniversary, their lives changed.










On our 17th anniversary, we looked like this:

And on our 18th and final anniversary, celebrated at hospice:

I first heard about the experiments they were conducting on the east coast involving the polio virus about a year ago; they insert the virus (minus the dangerous part of the strain, instead substituted with a bit of cold virus) and it attacks the tumor (and awakens the immune system). One woman in the study was diagnosed around the same time John was. She is still with us. All of this was on a number of 60 Minutes episodes, with the most recent one airing tonight. 

John went through the typical treatments (called standard of care), plus one study. 

After graduation from radiation therapy, you get to keep the mask. I still have it.

Chopping.

Treadmill therapy

Coffee and treadmill mix.

Don't get me wrong; I'm overjoyed that they have something that not only might cure glioblastoma multiforme, but other cancers such as pancreatic cancer (which took my big brother from us in 1999).  But I'm angry...perhaps selfishly...that this breakthrough status didn't happen before the events of 2011 unfolded...or even before the events of 1999. 

But we held on to each other. Tight.

Through Christmas 2011, one month after diagnosis:

 And the early days of hospice...

Through his last birthday...

And through his last days...

Our last photo together. Taken approximately 3 days before his death.

He still lives in my heart.

I will continue to follow the studies, as I want this monster called cancer to disappear. Go away. Vamoose. Be gone. Kicked to the curb. DESTROYED.

So be aware, cancer: YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED. No more destroying families. 

And so, we go on. Little by little. Step by step. Moment by moment. Missing him all the time.

No one should ever have to go through this. 

For perspective on that 14 month journey...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prjcHQAPVgg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV5hm_d_ZW4&feature=share

Three dog night...and days...

We've had an unusual winter in these parts. December was the warmest on record, but then--by the time we got to late January/most of February and even a little bit in March--we had a few snowstorm events, much to Elvis' delight. He loves to run and play and jump in the snow drifts, and doesn't seem to realize he's over 9 years old now. That's okay. I love his puppy-like exuberance.

Recently, I dog/house sat for my brother and family while they went south to watch my nephew in spring training for his college baseball team. It's very relaxing at their house--they live on a really pretty lake about 40 minutes south of here.

Elvis adores his cousins, Goose and his dad, Homer. Here's what they looked like a good share of the time after a hard play session:

L-R: Goose, Elvis, Homer.

When Elvis and I first arrived for our stay, the lake looked like this outside the window:

It snowed all day that Saturday. You know the phrase "Three Dog Night," right? Well, that night, I had three dogs piled up on top of me. Once they were comfortable, it was a wonderful warm way to spent most of the night.

Michigan being Michigan, the weather gradually changed during the week we visited. We even had a 70-degree day, almost unheard of in early March here. And so, the ice began to melt.

Meanwhile, the dogs enjoyed (most of the time) playing together in the house.

Homer

Homer

Homer is the senior of the crew. It's very difficult to get photos of his face, but I finally managed to get a couple of very good photos of him. Such a sweet boy.

Goose

Goose is Homer's "wingman" son. Don't let those sweet eyes fool you. He is full of mischief. Elvis and Goose are best friends as well as cousins, and they are as thick as thieves. Lots of "wrasslin'" goes on when they get together.

Of course, father and son usually lounge together...

One of the favorite things to do is to look out the window to see what's going on. Here's Homer and Elvis:

Squirrel!!!!!!!!!!

Homer seems to need a lot more cuddling these days, so Elvis (the first time I've noticed this) got very jealous. I didn't want him to be jealous that he's not in this post very much, so just in case he gets on my computer (he DOES have a Facebook account, after all!), here's a couple of glamour shots from the visit--one of them thanks to an opportunistic sunbeam.

By the end of our visit, the snow and ice had completely melted, and there were small fishing boats on the lake, a big change from the ice huts I saw when I first arrived. 

Well, it's time to wrap this up for now...but the boys and I wish you a wonderful spring!

L-R: Elvis, Homer, Goose.

A Sunday in January

Here's a post I started a few weeks ago...in January.


After church for the next few weeks (well, not next week, since there's our annual congregational meeting), I'm going to a discussion at church called "Death: The Elephant in the Church." I thought it would be a good thing to attend. The moderator wondered if the discussion would be too tender for me. In some ways, it is, but I think it's good I'm going. Today was a little hard, since we're coming upon the third anniversary of John's death. The class was held in the lounge, which has windows that look upon the courtyard in which half of John's ashes are interred. But it was okay. It's a good discussion group, and I'm with my church family.

Today, we heard reports from various people about traditions surrounding death in different faiths. It was very interesting. Some very comforting traditions, though I think what I currently hold as beliefs are comfort enough. No matter what, I'm going to miss John. Horribly. Yet sometimes, I feel like he's just around the corner out of view but taking care of me, anyway.

So...after I left the church I came home and cuddled with Elvis. I felt like I'd neglected him a lot this week, since I'd worked extra hours for a project I have every year at this time. Though one of the nights I was there, I brought him with me. He got pretty bored, but eventually settled down for a little nap at my feet.

We've been slugs most of the afternoon...and I decided I wanted to get out for a bit. Take Elvis for a walk? Naw, it's pretty cold outside. Let's go for a ride.

So Elvis and I took a little ride around the west side of town. He loves going with his mommy in the car, and is usually quite well-behaved when he's in the car. Past beagles I've had (Max and Abbey, in particular) did not like car rides. Elvis (like Mo before him) LOVES them. But the weather was starting to turn. Thin veils of snow blowing across the road are pretty, but I decided it was time to go back home.

Elvis is now fast asleep, and I will soon join him. Thankful for a warm home, warm blankets, warm pajamas, and a warm beagle.

Trying to decide right now whether to take Tuesday off or whether work would be a good distraction from the fact it's January 19. We'll see.

Three Dog Night...and Day

Last weekend, Elvis and I spent most of dog sitting at my family's place on the lake. As you can see, they spent most of it either in piles of dogs or piled up on me. I didn't mind. It was very cold last weekend--Sunday morning, I think it was 8 below. So other than attending to the necessaries, we all stayed inside. In the photo above, you know the beagle, Elvis. The labs are (from left to right) Homer and Goose. When not snoozing or relaxing, Elvis and Goose play. Hard. I think it's a good break for Homer, who prefers not to play much these days. I think for that reason, he loves it when Elvis comes to distract his son (Homer and Goose are father and son in real life).  

Other that fixing food for me (and putting it in dishes for the dogs), I spent most of the time watching out the window...many people were out ice fishing on the other side of the lake. I felt cold for them, as it was far too cold to be out there (in my opinion, which makes me NOT an ice fisherwoman).

It is a week later, and I'm guessing they're not out there today. The high today, I think, was close to 60 degrees. Well, I'm in Michigan. Our motto is, "If you don't like the weather, wait awhile and it'll change. I'm not complaining, as I said in the previous post. I'm sitting here watching a pretty sunset, and almost all of the snow is gone from last week. It's still February, so I'm sure we'll have more snow, but we have had far less this year than in past years. All of our snow, I think, went to the East Coast, where many people don't know how to handle snow. What's that I read? "To you it may be a snowstorm. To us Michiganders, it's Tuesday."

I purchased season tickets to the local theater on campus for various events. Not sure I can afford it next year, so I'm trying to enjoy them as much as I can. In the past few months, I've seen Kristin Chenoweth (met her, too!), Paula Poundstone (met her), Bobby McFerrin, and Savion Glover. A few more to go, and I'll talk about them later.

That's about all for now...I'll leave you one more photo of the pile o' dogs.

Spring, already...and another anniversary.

It's February 20, 2016. And it seems like spring outside...mind you, I'm not complaining. A week ago, the temperature ended up at around 8 below. I'll take sunny and 55 degrees. I think it hit 60 yesterday, but because of the high winds, it didn't feel that way. There's a breeze today, but not like the gale force winds of yesterday.

Since last I wrote, I have passed another year anniversary of John's death. It was tough--they all will be--but I was able to manage. I took the day off and Elvis and I went for a drive. First, we visited the church yard where part of John's ashes are...and as always, Elvis always knows where to sniff. I've never actually directed him to the area.

After our visit there, we stopped by Stoneleigh, the hospice John was in and so tenderly cared-for the last 8 months of his illness. Elvis remembered who the treat-givers are (a beagle never forgets) and also remembered where the treats are kept. One of these days, we'll go on some walks in the grounds...he loves to sniff around there.

Then, it was a trip to Fort Custer, where the other half of John's remains were. First, I visited Mom and Dad's grave (had to brush off the snow to find it. And then I went to John's grave. As I recall, it was pretty cold that day, and there weren't many people around...and ordinarily, dogs are not allowed outside of the car there, but I figured that Elvis had the right to visit the stone at least once. So...we did.

Ordinarily, I am not at Ft Custer during the weekday, so I was surprised to see the flags flying in the winter, until I remembered that there were flags flying when John was buried there. So, I figured there had been burial services there that day.

So, we headed next to Ft Custer Recreational Area--a state park not far from the cemetery that has about three or four lakes. We were in one of the few vehicles there...so pretty in the winter!

On our way home, I went through a Starbucks drive-through...and Elvis had a free Puppy Latte (a cup of whipped cream). I knew they had those, but had forgotten. They were the ones that offered it. He LOVES that sort of thing!

So...it was a quiet and reflective day...and over all, better than I expected.

Passages

My family has had its share of joys and sorrows in the last few weeks. This time, I'm not talking about my immediate family. 

This week, a celebration of 50 years of marriage for one of my cousins and her husband. There was a surprise party thrown (though sources state that my cousin knew something was up) for them by their children, and several of us Skyped in to give our good wishes. First time I've Skyped in a long while. I wish Bonnie and Chuck many more years of happiness!

And on Christmas Day, one of my cousins passed away after a battle from cancer. Anna and Robert Hicks had 24 cousins. Sandy was the second of them to pass. My older brother, Curt, was the first. Sandy bravely fought cancer. But everyone I know and have known (Curt, and my husband, John, two of them) is brave in the face of that monster. I wish Peace and God's grace upon her family. 

Around this time, three years ago, I was saying my final goodbyes to my beloved husband, John. The staff had told me that they were seeing signs of his final days, and so all I could do was to hold on tight to my faith, my family, and the skilled staff charged with John's care. I had three days left with him. As the sun arose on a January Saturday, my husband breathed his last. 

Time marches on. People celebrate births and birthdays. Wedding anniversaries. New jobs. Retirement. All sorts of good news that comes to us. And they also lose people around them. Lose jobs. Lose homes. Every day. 

The one sure thing about being born, someone has said, is that we will die. 

So all I can say on this cold and gloomy January Saturday evening is to hold on tight, celebrate those around you. 

For as Henri Frederic Amiel has said: life is short, and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts around us. So be swift to love, and make haste to be kind. And as people in the Episcopal Church have added to this phrase: And the blessing of God, who made us, who loves us,

and who travels the way with us be with you now and forever.

Amen.

Update on WKAR

G

Less than 24 hours after I posted my blog, the President of Michigan State University held a press conference. Two things were announced:

1. Michigan State's WKAR TV will not be entered into the spectrum auction, which means all of us can look forward to more wonderful programming on our local PBS station.

2. WKAR-TV has been entered into a partnership with Detroit Public Broadcasting. What this will mean, for now, is unclear.

Here's what I hope happens:

I hope that we continue the wonderful programs from PBS, such as Masterpiece, NOVA, etc.

I hope that we continue the wonderful LOCAL programming and enhance with more local broadcasting from East Lansing, Lansing, the greater Lansing area, and yes, the Detroit area. Don't take away what we already have. I, for one, really enjoy programs like Backstage Pass, the MSU Sports program, and the wonderful Curious Crew...and of course, Quizbusters. And the Michigan-related programming of things such as Under the Radar Michigan and other programs from the region. So many good things--Emmy-awarded things--already a part of WKAR TV and its hard-working crew.

So I, for one, will keep my eyes peeled and hope that the "changes" are good ones and not just for the sake of change, as so often things are in the world.

When I posted my last blog, I sent it everywhere--the Board of Trustees, President Simon, and lots of other venues such as local media. One of the stations--WLNS, our local CBS affiliate--asked to interview me about this. It's been a crazy-busy week at work, but I managed to find a few minutes to meet with the wonderful crew at WLNS.

Do I think I helped change their mind? Did they really want to sell the spectrum? I don't think I, alone, changed their mind if their original intention was to enter the auction. But a lot of voices beside me threw down the gauntlet and let the powers-that-be know that the demise of WKAR-TV was unthinkable. As far as the question of intention when this first was announced...who knows?

I'm just glad that for now, the people of mid-Michigan...and Michigan...can breath a tentative sigh of relief.

As for those powers-that-be...we'll be watching you. You've heard from us, and will hear from us again, if needed.

Now, if you'll excuse me...I'm going to catch up on Downton Abbey. Spelled D-O-W-N-T-O-N.


Peace,

Tamara

WKAR TV: A beloved station that's in danger of extinction.

A few months ago, I was taped for an interview and a PR announcement on WKAR TV related to a documentary called Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies.

I've had a long-time connection to WKAR, both with the radio and the television stations, and also with Radio Reading Services, a service that I've read on and used first for my father and then later for my husband. I've volunteered for fundraising, for various festivals, the old TV auction (remember that? GREAT fun!), practice tapings of Quizbusters, and other things too numerous to list here. WKAR radio, television, and the reading services are based at Michigan State University, in East Lansing, Michigan.

WKAR TV is actually comprised of three stations: The "regular" WKAR, WKAR Create, and WKAR World. John and I decided to do without cable for about 10 years, and WKAR was one of our regular sources of entertainment and news. Still is for me, even now that I have satellite television and may drop it to watch broadcast only in the future. Some of the programs I have enjoyed over the years have been Masterpiece Theater, in all of its forms (Classic is my favorite: It brings Jane Austen and Bronte Sisters (among others) adaptations, and of course, Downton Abbey). Also on my list of favorite programs: Nova, Doc Martin, This Old House, Austin City Limits, Antiques Roadshow, Nature, Independent Lens, and I haven't even mentioned the news programs and specials, and that isn't even including the wonderful shows on Create and World. Cooking, travel, extra things that may or may not be on the regular station.

And the local and regional programming: Quizbusters, Under the Radar Michigan, Current Sports, and Backstage Pass, to name a few.

We have seen all the wonderful Ken Burns specials, starting with Civil War, on WKAR.

And what I love most is that it's accessible to everyone with a television set. You don't need any fancy hookups (other than a digital box, if you have an older set).  In fact, at the time of the digital conversion, it was one of the few stations we could still get. I'm still unable to (along with about everyone I talk to who choose to watch only broadcast television) see our local NBC station without cable or satellite to help me. Yet WKAR gave us not one but three stations to watch after the switch. Who needs the Food Network, the Travel Channel, and some of the other channels on those services when you can get all you really need on PBS?

Why am I typing all of this beside professing my love for this station in all its forms?

Because there's a chance it will all go away, if the president of Michigan State University decides to sell the frequency that carries them. The Board of Trustees at MSU has authorized her to do this, and the decision deadline is this coming week.  Don't get me wrong, it could bring the university a lot of money. But at what cost?

I think the cost is too high. Let's leave me out of this for a minute. What about the many many lower income folks whose only access to television is broadcast? I've already mentioned that NBC isn't reachable unless you have service (or a mighty powerful antenna). That leaves CBS, FOX, and ABC. And PBS. And if WKAR goes away, that means THREE stations go away. For everyone.

Earlier, I mentioned my favorite programs. But what about the children in our community? So much great programming--Sesame Street, Thomas and Friends, The Cat in the Hat, Curious George...all gone if this station goes off the air. Beloved programs. As I mentioned, not everyone has access to cable or satellite television!

If you feel the same way, and want to save this station, please go to the following website to see what you can do to help. Not just those of you within viewing distance of this station: I'm talking to all of you that value what PBS has to offer. WKAR is one of the oldest educational stations on the air: Second in the nation, and oldest east of the Mississippi River. If WKAR TV is in danger of extinction, I would bet that similar stations across the nation are in danger, too.

Here's the website: http://savewkar.com

Let's make sure this prized jewel stays active for many many more years. SAVE WKAR!

Oh, and if you want to watch the interview I did at WKAR, here's the link to that:
http://video.wkar.org/video/2365449661/

A loyal PBS (and NPR) fan,

Tamara Hicks-Syron

This and that...

Just some miscellaneous thoughts on this January evening....

We are on the edge of a winter storm. The officials have started naming these storms, just like they are hurricanes. This one, apparently, is Hera. Luckily (at least so far), we've dodged the ice. It's just been raining on and off today. But tonight it might change; I heard the temps may go down and we will get snow.

It's been a crazy late fall-early winter this year. I think I heard that December 2015 was the warmest one on record. I'm not surprised. There were many evenings I sat in short sleeves on the back porch steps while Elvis did his exploring. We really didn't get the real cold stuff yet, but it's coming as we head into the second week of January.

I'm keeping busy with studying for my Monday night class, but for the time-being, anyway, I'm not doing any music activities.

I'm taking a class through the University of the South (Sewanee) called "Education for Ministry." It's a four-year course for laypeople. It is connected to the Episcopal Church (I'm a member), but it is open for any interested in this study. So, every Monday night, for three hours, I meet with a group of wonderful people in various stages of this course. Two of us are first year students, and we are studying the Old Testament, or Hebrew Bible. Second year students are studying the New Testament, while the third year students are studying history. The "seniors" (fourth year) are studying theology. I'm really enjoying this class, and it's given me a chance to delve a little deeper into material I only barely touched upon in my years of attending various churches, as well as my own private study of the Bible.

Other than the class and a few other activities--a few tickets to shows at Wharton Center, for example--I'm pretty much keeping to myself, hanging out at the house with my faithful beagle.

January is a tough month, and always will be. So we gradually come toward the day that keeps going by, year by year. January 19.

But in this same timeframe, I have some cause for small celebration. I was hired at Michigan State University on January 15, 1992. One more year, and I'll be vested for retirement. There was a time that John and I talked about my retiring in 2017. Of course, that's not possible right now, but I like to think I would find something fun that will pay the bills at some point in the near future.

Not that I don't enjoy my work now. I really enjoy what I do. And I have a new supervisor, whom I really like and respect. That helps. So I'm not in a big hurry just yet, but it's kind of nice to know that date is coming. I do think I'm going to look for some other ways to earn extra money. I don't play a lot of violin these days because of a number of things--including sore joints, courtesy of osteoarthritis. So what I am looking for are chances to work from home: editing, writing, data entry. If any of you readers have any ideas, feel free to share them.

Speaking of music, a friend gave me a really nice electronic keyboard. It belonged to a mutual friend who was a a wonderful professional musician. It has been great fun playing it. I'm by no means a good keyboard player, but I still enjoy playing because it relaxes me.

I have had some issues these past few weeks with my health. Nothing worrisome, so don't gasp when you read this. I've been stressed out about some issues, and it caused me to have some slight chest aches on the side where you start thinking that it might be a good idea to go in and have someone check me out. I had blood tests, a electrocardiogram, and a CT scan. No heart attack. No blood clot (the reason for the CT scan). Just stress. And because of the stress, the sugar went higher than usual.

A week or so later, I started coughing a lot (as the weather started turning). That ended up being bronchitis. It's no fun by itself. But when you have CVA (cough variant asthma), it's worse. But I seem to have turned a corner and am not coughing nearly as much. Keeping up on my meds (including one asthma med and allergy meds), and I think that's helping.

I've had a couple of doctor appointments beyond the stuff mentioned above: One to start working on the sugar aspect. I'm a diabetic, but my organs seem to be working fine, so no meds just yet for the diabetes. Working on the food and exercise aspects. Since that appointment, I've been trying to take walks when I can--with Elvis is best, but even at work I try to do some walking now. Gradually will work it up. I've had a sore back the last week or so, and I think that's connect to the exercise. That's feeling better tonight. The other doctor appointment was my every-6-month checkup with my ear specialist. With Meniere's disease, it's good to have specialists in the field, because many doctors don't know much about this condition.  Anyway, things went fine at that appointment; still have the vertigo set off from time to time but I do what I can do to control what I can control. Right now, I have really bad tinnitus, something else that comes with this "fun" disease. If you want to know what it's like, I think Kristin Chenoweth says it best in her autobiography. I had a chance to meet her recently when she came to town and she's amazing. Anyway, the doctor put me on a 1-week dose of steroids to see if it will quiet things down for me. If it works, fine, and if it doesn't, I'm supposed to go back to Farmington Hills and he'll figure something else out, I guess. Not a whole lot we can do about the things out of our control, but maybe we can figure some of this out.

Tonight, as I type this, Elvis is buried under the covers right next to me as the cool rain falls (another reason for achy joints) outside. On the television is "Yankee Doodle Dandy," one of my all-time favorite movies.

That's about all for this post. I'll be back...

Love and peace and blessings,

Tam

The New Year Blues

I had a rough time ringing in the new year this year. 

Mainly, I think it was because I had people around me when the clock turned in 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014. Of course, in 2011 and 2012, that "people" was John. In 2013, I was with my family at a party in Hollywood, though technically I was by myself when the clock turned over back in Michigan. Last year, I was at a play back in my hometown, and a bunch of friends were around me. 

New years are always new beginnings, but for me right now, it's just another year without John in it. 

It's not that John and I did anything special on New Year's, though a couple years stick out for me pre-cancer. 

The first one was fairly early in our marriage. We went to visit John's parents when they lived in Wolcott, New York. I don't remember a lot about that visit about what we did other than we sat up all night watching Twilight Zone movies. Something I did for most of New Year's (this) weekend. 

Another one was New Year's Eve 1999. John's office had a fancy party, and we got all dressed up and went. It was a lot of fun!

But normally, New Year's Eve was quiet for us.

John fell ill just before Thanksgiving, 2011. We decided to go on a walk that day, and for once, we left the dogs at home as I was worried John would trip over them. We walked to nearby Potter Park. As I recall, the actual zoo was closed, but we walked along the Riverwalk. I took my camera, as I've often done, and took some nice shots:

The ducks were pretty busy, and as you can see, there wasn't a lot of snow that year, either.

This is on our way to the park, near an old pump station a couple blocks from home. He looked quite good, a month after surgery, didn't he?

In 2012, John was in hospice, and went the calendar flipped to 2013, I laid my head on his chest and sobbed--it was the first time I'd failed to keep my emotions in check around him during the hospice stay, and one of the few times since he was diagnosed. I remember him asking why I was crying, and I couldn't answer him. So, he gave me the best hug he could, and just said, "Awwww...."

John died just a couple weeks later: January 19, 2013.

On New Year's Eve 2013, I was with my family getting ready to celebrate a Spartan Rose Bowl victory the next day. The evening of New Year's, we were in the Ray Dolby Ballroom in Hollywood, right near the Chinese Theater and in the room where the Governor's Ball for the Oscars is held. All that was nice, but I missed John. I was about to say goodbye to the last year that had John in it. When the calendar changed in California, my brother hugged me as I sobbed. I will always be grateful for how much my family has stuck with me through these times. Here's a picture of my brother and me at the party (and you can see Darlene Love's hair (sorta) behind my brother:

New Year's Eve 2014, I went to see a play at Great Escape Stage Company, in Marshall, Michigan--my hometown. This wonderful theater is run by my friend, Randy Lake, who was my first real leading man back in 1978. He was the "King," I was "I". Anyway, they did a radio play (similar to other ones they've done, including two I was in this fall called "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and another short play from the old Suspense series) on "It's a Wonderful Life." And then we stayed to ring in the new year, and my buddy, Randy, and other friends were there to keep me loved and distracted. It ended up being a good evening, all things considered.

This year was hard, and not just because the Spartans lost (hey, they were one of only four teams to make the football playoffs, so that's really something to be proud of, along with the amazing season they had. John was, incidentally, quite a Spartan Football fan, something he picked up from hanging out with my family for over 18 years). This was the first year I was truly alone...well, except for my fur baby, Elvis. I tried to go out and watch the game at a local pub near campus, but you know sometimes even if you have people around you, it's still lonely. It's one thing if it's friends or family, but even though these people were fellow Spartans, I felt incredibly alone. So at halftime, I paid my bill (delicious food; never went there in college because it was always so smoky. SO thankful for the no smoking rules that were passed a few years ago) and went home. Elvis and I went on a short walk in the last few minutes of 2015, and then came home, where I sobbed for a long time as 2015--a fairly difficult year, by the way--drifted away. Elvis saves me in tissues, as he's very fond of kissing those tears away.

Now that the holidays (always rough, have been for a long time as the losses started in 1999) are over, other than a bad bought of bronchitis, I have hope that 2016 will be better.

But John still won't be in it.