NPR StoryCorps Moment

StoryCorps. Needless to say, it’s almost always a “driveway” (or in my case, parking lot) moment. But today…well, let’s just say it took a little longer to compose myself before I walked into the building. Here's why:

http://www.npr.org/2013/05/17/184478282/a-gift-of-life-and-friendship-after-a-familys-loss

As you may or may not know, organ donation from someone who has died from cancer is usually impossible…except for eyes. For some reason, those can be donated. I learned that about halfway through the 14 month “odyssey.” John, I remember, was so glad he’d at least be able to donate them. So, I talked to the Eye Bank the day after John died, as they needed to ask me questions. As the questioning went, I was thinking about how his eyes were so pretty and chocolate-brown and how they would be helping someone else. But then, the questions went into places that he’d resided, and I immediately knew where they were going with them. “Has he ever lived overseas?”

Well, yes, he was in the Air Force. And he was stationed, among other places, in England during the 80s for about four years. They were going with the same line of questioning I had heard before; because there’s no way to detect mad cow’s disease, he was prevented from donating his O+ blood. He learned that on September 11, 2001, when he went to the Red Cross to try to donate after many years not giving blood.

And on January 20, 2013, they said they would not be using his eyes. And it broke my heart.

I would love to see that photo of the woman hugging the man who had organ donations from her husband. I would have wanted to know, too.

In the meantime, I picked a few lilacs before leaving home today so that I could enjoy them at my desk today. John planted them, because he had heard how much I loved the lilacs that lined the back of the property of my childhood home in Marshall. So very glad they’re here for me to look at and smell. Not as good as his eyes, though, but it helped.

So glad for StoryCorps; it’s one thing I look forward to on Fridays. But when it replays in a few minutes, I’ll have to turn the radio down.

Tammy gets tough and does it (mostly) by herself.

Hello! I'm back! Here's another photo of flowers from John's garden in the front yard:

I've had an interesting few days; most of them filled with adventures in vertigo. So, I've made that appointment with the Michigan Ear Institute in Farmington Hills, MI and will head there in a couple weeks. In the meantime, a friend has introduced me to something called Sea Bands: a pair of sweat-band like bracelets, only smaller and tighter that have a plastic bead that applies pressure to a spot on your inner arm. Accupressure. No meds. Normally, they are for travel sickness, nausea, etc. But they actually work pretty well for vertigo. Without meds! You see, I do have some anti-vert for vertigo, and it works pretty well...but it puts me asleep (and caffeine exacerbates the vertigo) so I can't use it and function properly during the day.

Now, it could be that I am done with this flare-up. And then again, I think these bands work. Yay! Not a very fancy fashion statement, but...yay!

So, I mentioned (I think) that John wanted me to have some jewelry in honor of our anniversary last September. He couldn't get out to pick it out by then, and I said I didn't need anything. He kept bringing it up and insisting. So, around Christmas, I was wondering around Sears and saw a pretty ruby (created) ring on sale in a tear-drop shape. So, I got that, had it fitted, and showed it to John. He said, "Wow! I would have picked something just like that!" So, in a very real sense, he picked that ring out for me.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, when I looked at the ring and the ruby was gone. I had paid for a lifetime service rider, which guaranteed I could get the ring fixed. Well, guess what? The ring arrived today. And the lady told me that the company wouldn't replace the ruby because it was "worth over 75% of the ring value." EXCUSE me? Okay, I've entered a new phase of my life--well, it's already been there for a long time, but it's more present, I guess, these days. I went to Sears this afternoon and actually got another person who was in the midst of transferring to the tool department (a promotion! And the best part of any Sears store, I believe). She helped me and said that the manager who handled my situation valued the ring at only $60. I paid over twice that. She looked up my receipt and said, "Oh yes. You DID. I'll send it back. I don't know why she'd value it at the clearance price. " I paid more than $60, so I don't know what that was about, but anyway...I was going to have to pick out another ring, according to the manager, who was the one I talked to on the phone today. I don't WANT another ring. I want THAT one. And thanks to another woman understanding my situation and because of her great customer service (something that doesn't always happen in Sears but has happened to me more than not the past couple of years), I will have THAT ring in two weeks.

Speaking of Sears, I was there yesterday, too. This time to get a new lawn mower. And while I was there, I ran into the nurse that was John's clinical trial manager. We had a nice conversation in the mower section. She was looking for spark plugs for her mower and we had a good hug and I passed on again my appreciation for the folks at the Sparrow Cancer Center.

Back to the mower: It was a nice day yesterday, and I wanted to tackle the lawn before the next batch of rain. I finally dragged the lawn mower out of there and instantly got mad at John for not letting me mow. Not ONCE in our 18 plus years together did he allow me to mow. "That's my job," he'd say. That's wonderful, but that also means I haven't maintained a mower in over 20 years, now. I tinkered, asked a couple neighbors, ended up dragging it to the gas station a couple blocks away. Adding gas, oil, playing with it, we realized it was toast. Between the not-starting and all the piecemealing John did to keep things together on the mower, it was unusable. I don't blame him at all. It worked when he used it. Two summers ago.

I'm not feeling bad about having to replace the mower, because I'm pretty sure we didn't even pay $100 for it when we bought it in the late 1990s. It was the cheapest model Sears sold, and we got good use out of it. So off to Sears I went, feeling bad that I still hadn't gotten the lawn done.

The backyard of our house is tricky for mower entry and I never fully understood how hard it was for John until I learned how very difficult it is to get in there. So, my goal was to get a mower that was either light enough for me to lift or slender enough to slip into the gated backyard between the gate and the wooden steps.

I considered the different models on the floor, and figured the electric ones were going to be best, but there was one problem. It's an old house, and the only outside plug is in the garage, and I could see myself, in all my graceful klutziness, running over the cords. And that's when I saw the the model I would buy: a reel mower. And this is the one I ordered:

http://www.sears.com/remington-reg-18inch-reel-mower-w-bagger-50-state/p-07137661000P?prdNo=3&blockNo=3&blockType=G3

I paid less than the price online, too! Pretty fancy, considering it runs under Tamara-power. The power mower (which they'll pick up and take care of for me when they deliver the new one) didn't have a bag to catch clippings like this one! Oh, and don't worry, those of you that haven't been to my house before: The lawn is small...postage-stamp size small. I think it'll be great; it's lighter than the first reel one we had when we bought the house from my brother, so I'll be able to maneuver it into the backyard. It'll also be great exercise and be easy to push most of the time. So, instead of calling it a mower, I'm calling it my outdoor exercise machine. Elvis can even be in the backyard with me while I'm mowing! Cool! Anyway, it comes on Thursday, and in the meantime, I may have to borrow someone else's mower if the weather dries up again so that the city won't ticket me.

Speaking of the city and tickets, the Saturn--which I named Barney for reasons that will become obvious when you see the photos--is officially history. I now have the driveway--if not the inside of the garage yet--to myself again and the Matrix (unnamed, as of now) can park near the garage, at least. The Saturn, which still had a good body from sitting in the garage all those years, now belongs to Volunteers of America and will make someone a good car once they find the inside parts (engine and other things were toast...sensing a theme, here?).

Barney

 Barney was purchased sometime in the spring or early summer of 1998. He was "born" in 1994 as a used vehicle from a neighbor. He was great. For about 6 months. And then the engine blew and other things happened, so he sat in the drive for awhile. Until the city wanted it to go bye-bye. So, John and I thought we'd push it into the garage and get rid of it later. Big mistake. Not long afterward, the spring on the garage door broke. Now, if you know anything about old (and heavy) wooden garage doors, you know that if the spring breaks, you should get someone who is a professional to fix it. It should never be fixed by anyone else, because it could prove to be fatal. Every year, John and I would talk about how we needed to donate it for our taxes. Each year we talked about that, but then we'd also say...hey, we have to get the door fixed, first. It wasn't a priority, so we let it go. Until the next year, we'd talk about it again.

Old wooden garage doors are incredibly heavy. John would lift it and lodge something under it to get the mower; I worried every time but it's a good thing I didn't realize just how heavy that door was, or I'd be terrified. But that's how he'd get in to get the mower. That mower that he'd never let me use because he felt he should be mowing.

Now go with me 13 years later. John gets sick. Neither of us can open the garage door. Many wonderful people help us keep the yard in shape. I am forever thankful for that, by the way. And 14 months later, John dies. I am heartbroken.

Gradually, I start realizing just how much he did around here. I fixed some things around the house, but John did a lot of other things that I guess I took for granted.

During one of those work sessions, my cousin replaced the garage door and pulled the Saturn out on the driveway. This was in around September. It sat, and naturally, about a month ago, I got a notice to move it.

And on Thursday evening, Barney left to belong to Volunteers of America.

A very large tow truck came to pick up Barney because all the tires were either flat or nearly so. 

The car is towed up on to the truck.

Barney is nearly ready to go!

All set! Thanks, guys, for providing entertainment for the neighborhood. Lots of people on their porches.

And off he goes!

Bye, Barney!

So off into the sunset he went, brushing the tree branches as he went. Soon, two trucks were going to join him on the lower level of this very large tow truck. I was really amazed that no one needed to move their vehicles out of the way. No vehicle or house was harmed in the moving of Barney. Bye, Barney!

I felt very sad about him going, but I'm not sure why. But there you go.

So, I've been pretty busy these days, as you can see.

Oh, and did I tell you I recently replaced the deadlock on the back door?

Girl power.

Now, I'll leave you with a little Elvis funny picture. The squirrels taunt him. John and I always kinda felt sorry for Elvis in these instances. Here's a scene from a couple days ago:

Enough for now. More later, and perhaps some photos from my recent Lake Michigan adventure.

Tam

It's May...

...and John's flowers are popping up to say "hello!"

John hadn't had experience with gardening before we moved into our home. But within a few years of living there, he became obsessed with the flowers in the front and side yards. He loved color, and chose mostly the warm tones along with the grape hyacinths and the purple and pink hues of the crocus flowers. But I don't ever remember him planting or purchasing white flowers...yet--as you can see in the photo--I have a couple of white tulips this spring. What's with that? I have my theories.

I made a trip over to the Battle Creek area once more to see my niece play soccer--she is wonderful, I tell you, and didn't get one ounce of my non-athletic abilities (well, I can swim...but she can, too). Afterward, I stopped at Horrock's to get some roses and paid a quick visit to the cemetery to see if the stone had been replaced. When I got there, I decided to stop at Mom & Dad's stone to put half of my roses there. By then, it had gotten dark enough that I had to point my headlights toward the graves, click on the brights, and walk to the stone. Worked quite well, so I tried the same method to put flowers on John's stone.

Section P1 at Ft Custer with the headlights pointing toward John's grave. His is the one in the upper center with the flowers.

 And here it is again, but a bit closer. Still have to be careful in that section, because there are always open graves (in this case, the size of an urn box).

Here's the three roses I put on John's grave. Two of them have been dyed at the stem (the bright pink one is natural), but I thought they looked kinda interesting so I got them. I didn't have much of a selection at Horrock's (normally, there is a huge one, but I'm guessing the shortage is due to late spring and due to prom season). John and I had flowers from their Lansing store in some of the decorations for our wedding.

As you can see, the stone has been corrected. Truthfully, I don't know if they have to take it out and replace it, or if someone corrects it on the spot. I'm guessing the former, as there was evidence of digging or something around the grave stone that was newer than January.

 This is the area as you get to the end of the entrance lane; when John (or any veteran) was buried, the flag on the tall pole was at half mast. The other poles have flags on them occasionally; I can't remember if they're more US flags or something else like state flags. I'll probably find out on Memorial Day weekend. The entrance road had the flags up there--they've been flying since Easter and will stay until after Veteran's Day, I believe. I'll try to get photos of them sometime. In the meantime, here's one of them near the entrance in the following photo.

 The stars were amazing that night. Of course, there's very little light at Ft Custer, as I don't think many people visit the graveyard after dark. But there I was, and the old me would have been frightened. I was not. I had the stars...the soft breeze...and I felt my parents and my husband near.

I'll post more later on this past weekend. As for me, I'm doing better than I was last week (the restful weekend helped!), but I can't seem to let go of the vertigo completely. It's positional again, so very manageable. For the last couple of days, the direction I have to avoid is up or down. Side to side is fine.

Well, that's about it for now. More on Grand Haven, Holland, my old Saturn, and the further adventures of Elvis and me soon. I promise.