Well, the somebody is Elvis, right now. He takes good care of me!
I'm home after a busy day today. A nice evening of NPR, PJs, and the computer on the bed with my favorite beagle boy, Elvis.
It's been a crazy week. Some fun stuff, some not-so-fun stuff. Some sickness, some healing.
I managed to work three out of the five days this week. And I probably shouldn't have worked any of them, though Thursday I felt a little better.
At the end of the day on Wednesday, I went to visit the campus employee assistance office to talk to my counselor about what's going on with me in this grief-walk I'm in. I wanted to know how to deal with my anger. Anger is a part of grief, and she said I should make sure to cut myself some slack at this time, and hopes that people will cut me some slack when things happen that are grief triggers. I've been so upset about things in my life lately, but sitting in her office for an hour, I felt a lot better about myself. I was assured that everything I feel and think is normal right now, and that I shouldn't push myself. Gently down the stream, the song says.
After that, I decided I was finally tired of this physical crap I had been going through since about Sunday, and took myself to a local doc-in-the-box (urgent care). Not surprising to find out I had stomach flu. He said that the strain going around is a longer-than-24-hour type and that my symptoms were typical. So, instructions to eat the BRATY (bananas/rice/applesauce/toast/yogurt) diet for awhile and take a couple of prescription meds, and I was out of there. MSU Pharmacy only filled one of them, swearing one of them (after I called them later at about 20 minutes to closing) was over the counter. Three pharmacies later, at the Sparrow Outpatient Pharmacy, I learn that the other prescription was not only NOT over the counter, it was a controlled substance. Finally, I went home, took the meds, and went straight to bed with my beagle warmer.
One dose of each was all it took. And Thursday, like I said, I was a bit better. So...after work, a friend treated me to a lovely light dinner at her home, followed by Celtic Woman at the Wharton Center. A lovely concert...a lovely evening.
I headed to bed but woke up around 3 AM with horrible vertigo. Almost as bad as when I hit my head in October. I took some antivert and went to bed. Got up, tried to get ready for work, but nearly fell down the stairs trying to get Elvis outside. So, after taking care of that and carefully climbing back up the stairs, I notified work that I was staying home and I went back to bed. This was about 5:30 AM. I slept until 1 PM! Still was quite dizzy, so I just stayed in the bed except to take Elvis out. Finally, the meds kicked in around 5 or 6 PM...but other than a trip to the pharmacy, I stayed home until this morning. MUCH better today, it's only a little positional vertigo. So, I got my haircut (a little vertigo when getting out of the hair-wash chair), did an audition at Lugnuts stadium, got some tea and played on the computer for awhile, and then headed home.
I have sung the National Anthem almost every year that the stadium has been open. Last year, I turned them down because I didn't want to sing if John couldn't be there. This year, the organization wants anyone singing the anthem to audition first, and today was the day.
I was given a number and sat in the stadium seats until I was called up into a room. I sang. One of the people in the room remembered me from past years, and said he was going to approve me without having to go through the second phase. So, off I went.
Here's where I tell you I was terrified. TERRIFIED. I hadn't sung by myself in front of anyone since John got sick in November 2011. I nearly drove past the stadium. But I didn't.
I felt John with me; I think that's the only reason I didn't start crying. I knew he wanted me to do this. He was always so proud of my performances; so much so that sometimes it was embarrassing. But sweet, none the less.
Gently down that stream I go.
So, here I am...the only thing I wanted to do that I couldn't do today was see my nephew's baseball games. I hope they did well today.
So, I'm going to head to bed, now, after a pretty good day. And play some of that Cat Stevens I was listening to earlier...and maybe the spinning--which just started up again---will stop.
Hoping I can go to church tomorrow, but will stay here, of course, if the spinning hasn't stopped tomorrow morning.
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