My Tuesday went pretty well during the day, as I was warmed by what I think was a reminder that John isn't far away. Upon relaying the story about the television, one person said she wasn't surprised; John was always taking care of me on earth, so why would he stop now? That thought warmed me all day. So...I went to the grocery store near my office to get a few necessary items; I had checked the account with the SSDI payment in it and realized I had enough to get a few things. But...when I tried to use the card, it was denied. I thought, "well, maybe I used the wrong password." No.
So I was feeling a little panicked. I kept trying to remember if the payment of SSDI in January was for December--as I thought--or if it was for the current month. I know that because John died in the middle of the month, I'd not be getting a January check. So...off to the bank I went. It took awhile to figure it out, but the bank received word that John had died before the payment hit the bank, so they sent it back to the Social Security Administration. I said...wait! I thought this was a December payment! The gal I talked to at the bank offered to let me have access to the money, particularly as I was adamant that it was still owed for December. So, I called the Social Security Administration's 800 number. The nice thing about waiting in queue for them is that you can make it so that when it's your turn, they will call you back. What a nice service! So, I opted for it, hung up, and got Elvis out into the yard and took him for a nice long walk with the phone at the ready. Soon after I got back to the house, they called.
The helpful woman on the other end of the line explained that because he was deceased before the payment was to be made, they couldn't issue payment to him. Further, she explained that I needed to apply for survivor benefits along with any money due me. I could have done it on the phone, but it would have taken longer...so...off to the local SSA office.
A word about Wednesdays: hours at the office are short: 9 to noon. I think they reserve the afternoons to get caught up in paperwork from their many cases. I thought that okay, I'll get there before 9 so I can get right in. That was also the thought of about 30 people ahead of me. Ah, well...I still was in to the caseworkers pretty quickly; a few papers signed and the paperwork was faxed to the people who issue the payments. I should be able to expect that money--plus a death benefit--to hit the bank within the week. Big sigh of relief, since I'd already paid some bills with that money. Luckily, the bank account was set up after this in such a way that I do not get penalized, nor does anything bounce. Another big sigh of relief.
So word to the wise from the formerly-not-so-wise: Do not spend SS money if the money has been issued after the death of the person who is on the benefits.
I also learned that I could be eligible for social security benefits from John after I turn 60, so I was told to return there then to see if I was eligible. I am sure it won't be much, but even a little would help at that time in my life. But I have a little time before I have to figure that stuff out.
I then returned to work and kept pretty busy there. In the mid-afternoon, I received a call from Stoneleigh and had a nice chat with the social worker there. I assured her that I was not angry with anyone there over some things that happened the day of John's death other than the person who made an unfortunate choice of words when she talked to me. I won't get into that any further now...if ever. I assured the social worker that those that cared for us (and in hospice, it is care of the entire family--beagles included!) are considered family to me because of the kindness and care they showed us in the 8 months we lived there.
I also shared with her the story about John's "visit" and she told me she had something to tell me in that regard.
She says that she often has visits in her dreams of people who have recently died. But ordinarily, it's not people who have been residents at Stoneleigh. Apparently, though, she recently saw John in a dream. He was sitting on the bed and he said--three times, I think she said--"It's okay."
Yep. John's around.
I'm currently reading a few books. Right now, I'm finishing a book called Embraced by the Light, by Betty J. Eadie. It was recommended to me by my allergy nurse. I just started it, and am almost finished, as it's fairly short. Fascinating account of a near-death experience. I have a couple of other books I'm going to read next--one I had started, called Proof of Heaven, by Dr. Eben Alexander, a neurologist who had an amazing near-death experience, and the book Heaven is for Real, by Lynn Vincent and Todd Burpo, which is also about a near-death experience through the eyes of a little boy. Yes, there's a theme.
I know John's in Heaven and with God. But these books are pretty comforting, too.
I almost forgot to mention that I rode with a friend to attend an orchestra rehearsal last evening, and for 2 hours, I was able to keep my mind off things other than the fact that 14 months of playing very little makes fingers VERY rusty! And what was the first piece I played last night? Gershwin's American in Paris! Talk about jumping into the fire! I'm a little sore today, but it was--overall--a great experience. I only wish I hadn't missed my niece's basketball game, as she scored 6 points last night!
Today, I was thrilled to receive the text of Kit's amazing homily at John's memorial service. I have it in text form and in an MP3; I sent the sound file to John's brothers, our nephew, and others who I knew would appreciate it.
Well, that's about it for tonight. I'm going to finish my decaf coffee and head back to the house--glad to have seen the Spartans play tonight...and win, to boot! Speaking of that, the team is coming here to eat and I'm sitting in the room reserved for them, so I'm headed home.
Blessings...and more on music running through my head these days in my next post.
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