I'm still here!

Old Town Lansing Trick or Treat (Howl-O-Ween). Elvis went as Count Beagula. 

It's been a busy few weeks.

One of the "fun" things that happened recently is that I got a flu shot. And then the flu a couple days later. I don't blame the shot...anymore. My doctor says it takes about two weeks to take full effect, and several medical professionals in my life agree that I probably had something brewing before the shot. So...I spent four days in respiratory misery...actually a portion of another day, too.

You see, it's hard to tell if I'm really starting to get something these days, because most days I feel run down, especially by the time evening falls.

So, on a Tuesday, I had the shot. I probably shouldn't have, because I was feeling particularly run down that day. And it went downhill from there. By Thursday evening, I knew something was going on. The next day, I had several appointments. First one was to a podiatrist. Since technically, I'm diabetic (but don't need insulin), it's good to have the feet checked once per year. Good news on that, no nerve damage! Yay. But I was really starting to feel bad. After that appointment, I had an occupational therapy session for my thumbs. More on that later. I should have certainly gone home and to bed by then. Did I? No. I kept my appointment at the Ear Institute. I was in misery by that point and nearly fell asleep on the highway. After the appointment, I slept in the car for a little while. I learned a little lesson in that: next time I have to go to an appointment like that, first of all, don't go if I'm sick. Secondly, board Elvis so if I HAVE to wait to come home, I don't have to worry about him. Another thing: I hate hearing tests, and they're even worse when you don't feel well. I just hope I didn't infect everyone. I haven't had any hate mail/calls, so perhaps not.

When I got home that Friday evening, I went to bed, where I mainly stayed through the following Monday night, with the exception of trips to the drug store and to Urgent Care.

When I started feeling better, my cough-variant asthma kicked in, which almost always happens when I have some sort of respiratory aliment (flu or bronchitis or walking pneumonia) this time of year. The bad news is that the coughing usually doesn't totally go away until spring. That may change this year, as my doctor decided to have me use a nebulizer four times per day for the next month. She said that any time I have this happen, this will help. And it does. To a point. Nights (pre-nebulizer time) are usually the worst.

Well, I received some advice to try a supplement that is supposed to work wonders. I'm usually a skeptic about some things..but then I thought...hey, I was a skeptic about acupuncture until I actually used it during my second and most recent bout with Bell's Palsy. 20 sessions, and the nerve paid was GONE FOR GOOD after the first one. Previous to that, I was on pain killers, which were just making me loopy, which drove my dear husband crazy. He really didn't like it when I was on those sorts of meds. Truthfully, I don't like them, either. I continued the other 19 treatments and believe they helped me heal faster from the Bell's episode.

So, now I'm trying something called "Pneumotrophin PMG." My first dose was three pills (chewed to achieve a faster result, as recommended. They said it was nasty-tasting, and they weren't kidding.) at about 5pm tonight. But I have to say that now, at about 7pm, I think I notice that I'm not coughing as much as I normally am by this time of night. I'm supposed to take another dose before bedtime, so we'll see. At this point, I'm ready to try anything, as long as it doesn't kill me. :)

Health-wise, I'm in surprisingly good shape at the moment, aside from the usual and the asthma. However, my immediate concern is my weight. So...that's the next thing I have to work on. I haven't been on the trike since the flu episode, sadly.

Tomorrow, the roofers are coming to re-do the roof. John and I had the roof done almost exactly ten years ago, and it's in HORRIBLE shape. If it weren't for the statute of limitations, I'd be having the previous company pay the LARGE amount I'm having to pay for this more reputable company to start at the beginning again. But at least, my kitchen will be dry when they're done, even if there's a fairly large hole in my pocket.

The goal is to sell that money pit of a house, but in order to even consider doing it, I have to bring things up to code..and the roof is definitely not. These guys will not only replace/fix the roof, they'll replace the gutters. I think it'll be worth it.

I mentioned the therapy on the thumbs. I have osteoarthritis, diagnosed at about age 30. Back then, it was only bothering my hip and knee joints occasionally. Now, it's different. My knees get really bad sometimes (not lately when I'm riding the trike) and my thumbs--particularly the left (fingering) hand thumb--have really really been painful. I think the main problem is that I almost completely stopped playing while John was sick. Not his fault. I just lost the desire to make any music of my own. Very little singing, very little violin-ing. The therapy IS helping, so that's good.

I have reason to get the thumbs in shape: I've been invited to go on a one-week tour of Italy to play violin with the Kellogg Community College chorus (KCC is a community college in Battle Creek, MI). I want to be able to be much healthier when I go, which is late in June.

It's very exciting; I've been to Europe, but never in the southern part. On this trip, I'll visit Rome, Vatican City (including the Sistine Chapel), Pompeii, Sorrento, Capri, and other places along the Amalfi Coast. I think it will help me get through the winter months, which seem much longer here in Michigan.

My alma mater's football team is really doing well; my husband never followed sports before he joined my family, but became quite an MSU Spartan football fan over the recent years. And he would be happy about this year. Last Saturday, MSU's number one defense rolled over the University of Michigan like I'd never seen before. I almost felt sorry for their quarterback, as he didn't seem to be getting any help from his team. Almost felt sorry for the UM team. Almost. But not quite. I do have respect for their coach and think that, given some time and some good recruiting, they'll be back to become a force to be reckoned with again. I hear calls for his firing, but I think they're being unfair. He's a good coach. Our team was better on Saturday. That's all. I can't believe I ever was mad that Nick Saban left MSU. Mark Dantonio is a loyal Spartan, a great coach, and a great guy. Alabama can have Saban, as far as the MSU faithful are concerned. Looks like there's a bowl game in the future. Which one depends on how MSU does with the next three (maybe four, if the three games are won) games.

John's last birthday, wearing the Hicks family uniform. :)

Right now, I'm having a horrible time dealing with the approaching holidays. I used to love Christmas. I'm not so fond of it anymore. It started in Christmas 1999 when my family had their first Christmas without my older brother, Curtis. It intensified with each loss (2002 both my parents passed). John started to understand that more after he lost his parents in 2010. I remember the first Mother's Day that happened after his mother died. He looked at me, and with sad eyes said, "I get it, now." I said, "Unfortunately, the only way you would ever understand how I felt about Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, birthdays, etc was when you went through similar loss." I remember we hugged each other tight that day.

And now I face Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year without the absolute love of my life. I miss him so much...sometimes it becomes a real ache.

Don't misunderstand: I have started to have more good moments than not, these days...but little things can set me off sometimes. I watched some commercial about a dog food today and started sobbing. Things like that. And I don't know if I'll ever get used to the nights without John. Having Elvis helps, but it it just not the same thing. He has been such a loyal boy. Does his best to try to cheer me up; showers me with kisses and cuddles when I don't feel well.

I don't know what I'd do without him. Not only do I need him, but more importantly, I think, he's someone that needs me. And that's a huge thing right now.

That's about all of my rambling for tonight.

Tam

miscellaneous thoughts in early autumn

Harvest Moon.

Apologies for not writing in awhile.

First of all, I have to say I am really enjoying my trike. Accumulated distance since I started riding: 64.5  miles. Most of that has been accomplished on Lansing's River Trail. 

http://lansingrivertrail.org

A sculpture and the old Board of Water and Light building (now the world headquarters for the Accident Fund) along the River Trail.

I've been on almost every part of it thus far except for about a quarter mile on the northern end and the route from Potter Park to East Lansing. But I plan on hitting that last bit in the next day or so. One of the best things about this new adventure is that the arthritis in my knee isn't bothering me any more. 

Really, this isn't a new adventure, really. I spent a lot of time riding my bike in my youth, during college, and then for about four or five years in the late 1980s--early 1990s. My old Schwinn Collegiate is still sitting in the garage--the one I was given for Christmas in 1967. 

And really, I have been on that Potter Park-to-MSU route--just not recently. 

I've started singing again in one of the choirs here in town. And it's very healing. We're singing some very lovely music--some I've sung before, and some new and lovely works. 

Elvis keeps working to cheer me up. He's a never-ending source of amusement; every time I take him outside, he checks the perimeter of the yard to make sure it's safe. Then, he sits in one of the lawn chairs...and watches for critters. 

Who goes there?

There's a squirrel that taunts him every day. Yesterday, this squirrel was really driving Elvis crazy. Thankfully, the squirrel runs fast...but one of these days...

Catch me if you can!

That squirrel drives me crazy!

Well, that's about it right now...I have a lot of things to be thankful for...it's just that the nights are so lonely--though a pair of nice soft beagle ears does help.

More soon.

Tam

September 3, 1994-January 19, 2013

Engagement 1994, taken summer before our wedding on September 3, 1994.

Nineteen years ago today, I married my best friend and love of my life. This is the first anniversary since John's passing. And it's going to really tough, if this evening is any indication. The above photo was taken to commemorate our engagement. We were engaged April 1, 1994, the day after our younger nephew was born, and it took place at the boarding gate at the airport in Lansing. This photo was taken in the summer after that.

The picture that follows was the last picture taken of the two of us--my cell phone January 13, 2013, 6 days before John died. 

I love you, sweetheart, and miss you every single day. I'm so glad we married. September 3, 1994--January 19, 2013 was not long enough. 

Last photo together, taken 6 days before John died.

Taken at the hospital November 18, 2011. Hospital staff gave me John's ring, and I put it on my finger for safekeeping. Because of the steroids he was on, it pretty much stayed on my finger from that day forward. It's still there today.

A rose for John as we rode to Ft Custer in January 2013. John's flag below my hand and the rose.

Tam, the Fiddler

As promised, here's a photo of me (taken by the Tibbits photographer, Mike Goreki) as The Fiddler and the wonderful John Payonk (now in a production at the famous Goodspeed Opera House in Connecticut, where people like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward have performed in the past) this summer. Had a wonderful time with the show, and am very glad I did it.

This will be the last post for the evening... La'chaim!

Tam

Adventures with Elvis

Elvis wants me to post something about him...so here goes.

We spent many nice weekend mornings and weekday evenings sitting in the backyard. I've given up mowing my yard, and instead have a couple of guys that were recommended to me by another friend of mine mow the yard. It's so worth it. I started putting out two chairs out of habit. And Elvis...ever the clever fellow, sits in one of them.

It's one of his favorite things, actually. The other day, I forgot to set out the extra chair, and he resigned himself to sitting on the ground. Oh, the indignity of it all.

Recently, I boarded him at Dr. Lisa's--his vet--while on a weekend trip with a local photography club. When I picked him up the following Monday after work, I decided to take him to Dairy Queen with me for a treat.

He got a cup of soft serve. And I got a cone. First, he finished up his soft serve.

 Then...he watched me eat my soft serve cone.

And of course, all this cuteness was to try to get me to give him my cone. Well, it didn't work. Until...the head-tilt. I swear they go to school for this--the "if all else fails" move. Elvis is a scholar in the head-tilt department.

And of course, I gave in. Mmmm, he seems to say.

And a toothy smile as he finishes up my cone.

One happy beagle with probable brain-freeze and a wagging tail.

Ah, yes. Back home and sniffing the breeze.

Can we go to Dairy Queen again?

My new toy...and means of exercise and transportation

I have had two bikes in my life--three, if you count the one I bought at an East Lansing Police auction--one that was stolen within a week of my purchase.

The first was a blue Schwinn Bantam. It looked sort of like this one (only blue):

Schwinn Bantam Children's bike

The second was a full-sized bike--a blue Schwinn Collegiate 5-speed. Santa put that under the tree on Christmas, 1967. I spent a lot of time riding it in the basement until the snow melted that spring. They look like this (but blue, again):

Schwinn Women's 5 Speed Collegiate

I've used that bike for many years. It is an excellent bike, and I've received many offers for it over the years. My younger brother had one, too--a little newer; a bright green boy's model. I guess they're still worth some money, so I'll be checking on that one of these days.

I went without a car for about four years, from about 1989 until 1993, so my means of transportation were by bus or bike most of the time. I had always been an avid bicyclist, but in those days, I rode something like 25 miles per day (I didn't have an odometer on the bike, but I'm pretty sure I'm accurate with this.

Years later, and I can report it has been awhile since I have used that bike. It sits--still in good condition--neglected in my garage, along with a few other bikes that either belonged to John or came with the house. Actually, there's about three bikes in the basement I need to haul up and check out one of these days.

About 13 years ago, I had started thinking about saving up for a new bike. The recumbents were starting to become popular, though wildly expensive. And then for awhile, I didn't think about getting one until a few months before John fell ill. I was actually looking at bikes around the time he got sick, and gave it up then, thinking I had to have a car with me so I could get to him at a moment's notice.

Now, here am I, and John's been gone for about seven months, now. And my health isn't that great. I have trouble with osteoarthritis--more than since my first diagnosis of it over 20 years ago. Particularly troublesome are my hands, now--which makes violin-playing very difficult--and for some reason, my left knee. I know a lot of it has to do with my weight.

And part of getting healthier is a scheduled food detox, which I'll begin this coming weekend. This will last for a month and will get me at a much healthier place. It's a doctor-guided one. The last time I did this, in 2011, I was feeling the best, physically, that I'd felt in a long time. I want to get to that place again.

The other part is getting back on a bike. And it'll help my pocketbook, too, as the gas prices are quite high these days.

But there was a new problem since the last time I so diligently went on rides: my propensity to get vertigo from the Meniere's--by the way, the BPPV I spoke of earlier seems to have resolved itself, thank God! However, I can still get vertigo, and riding a bike when an attack happens could be a dangerous thing.

I was online talking to a couple of friends of mine who are avid bicyclists. Both recommended a recumbent (and by now, they've come down in price a bit) and one suggested a trike (three-wheel) instead of the two. All I could picture was a large tricycle and I thought, oh, no...but then I found out about the TerraTrike.

And a few weeks later, I walked into the local dealer in Lansing's Old Town--Spin--and now am a proud owner of a TerraTrike Rambler 8-speed. And in the last two weeks, I've gone nearly 30 miles on it. I notice I feel better (tired, but better) when I ride it, the joints seem to feel better...and people say I have a huge grin on my face when I ride.

So...every day that the weather permits, I've gone on a ride. Today was way too hot, so I chose not to. I have registered with the city of Lansing and have my MSU permit on it, and plan on riding it the two miles to work soon. I was just thinking about how pretty the fall leaves will be on my ride to work via the Rivertrail.

We are blessed to have a wonderful network of trails throughout the city--trails that continue to expand as the walking/running/biking community creates a bigger demand for them. And a good share of the roads have a bike lane, now, too. I can hop on the trail within just a few blocks from my house. And as of last night, I guess there's a good possibility that the trail will expand--I think further west, now.

Here'a  little bit of information on the Lansing (and East Lansing, etc) River Trail:

Lansing River Trail

I've dreamed for years of a special goal to do the Dalmac, a ride around Labor Day (I think a group left today!) from the Lansing area up to the Mackinac Bridge. Do you think this old lady can do it? I hope so. There are other very cool trails through out the state that were created with initiatives like the Rails-to-Trails Conservancy. Years ago, I helped edit (as a freelance editing job) some of the early grant work to put some of these to use here in the state. And I hope to ride on some of them.

I recently went on a photography club trip to the Bay City/Frankenmuth/Midland area and saw evidence of this work there. Hoping to ride the trail from Midland to Clare one of these days. I hear there's a nice one to Lake Michigan (South Haven, I think), too. I won't do these alone, of course; I'll find people to go with. So those of you that worry about me...you can stop now.

More about the photography group in another post one of these days--some fun with a bunch of people who--like me--like photography. They all have fancier cameras than I do, but I think I do fine for now with the one I have.

Well, that's about it for this evening. Hoping to talk more about the rides I take (along with the photography along the way, as my camera is usually in my knapsack, too).

Dad's day

I realized today that it'd been awhile since I'd made a blog entry. So much has happened since my last one, that I think I'll break tonight's entry into several different ones.

Last night, I didn't get a lot of sleep. I'd dose off and then suddenly awaken. Some of it could be attributed to the heat, as we're having a string of very warm and humid days after a fairly cool August. But after I got going this morning, I realized it could also be that in the back of my mind, I knew it was the anniversary of my father's death. Oddly, I nearly forgot. I have so much on my mind these days, so I guess it's understandable.

So many people have gone. Yet, I know they're not really gone...but the selfish part of me wishes I could have them all around me again...Dad...Mom...Curt...John...and so many others.

One thing that is really a part of Dad that remains here is his legacy: his children and grandchildren. I just think about every time I see his grandson play baseball. I see Dad there. And believe me, if there was a way to be there, he would be--for his grandson and his granddaughter, too. He would be so proud of his grandchildren. And his youngest child, who has done a wonderful job, with his wife, raising those two. I hope I can make him proud. Sometimes I think I'm doing it, sometimes I feel like I fall short. But my goal is to try to be like him, as he was the best dad ever.